Decency in Dressing and Dancing with Decorum

Decency in Dressing and Dancing with Decorum

Recently, a friend sent me a video on Whatapps, as I watched this video showing a boy and a girl not less than 10 years of age, dancing in a seductive way and their clothing were unacceptable I became sad. I guess this video must have gone viral. The sad thing about this video, is that adults stood by the side and were watching these children dance, while applauding them. Very sad indeed! I shook my head and let out a heavy sign of depressive mood. I wondered what our world had become, where did we go wrong? What have we done to this generation that our clothing, utterances, dancing and every spheres of our life has to be marked with indecency and immorality, lacing it with sexuality. I wept. I wept because I felt that our children have been led astray by us – parents. I wept because good is now bad and bad is now good. A society wrapped up in a confused and abject state.

When you look around our children, especially the girls, they are dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. Children’s parties these days seem to have a general dress code that says come in scanty clothing which is the ultimate swag now. One would easily have termed the party as a night club for children. A pitiable state of confusion I must say.

So the question is, why are we sexualizing our children ? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy?

Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles? If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won’t she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19? Why won’t your son pierce his own ear at 15? Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on?

That all these are fashionable or trendy does not mean it is right. Some parents dress their children like this to church. Church! What are you teaching the child? What happened to children wearing dresses to church?

Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good. In this age, when children are being abused, is it wise to make your child an object of anyone’s sexual attention?

When I hear some children belt out sexually explicit lyrics, I ask myself how they became exposed to these songs! As a parent, you can’t play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children.

Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent? You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are. Better still don’t listen to them at all. What is not good for a child’s soul is not good for an adult soul as well. Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she is just a sex toy and her body is for pleasure and for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture. Our children have their lives ahead of them, let’s set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs.”

“Teach your sons that intelligence and confidence is the ultimate SWAGGER. There is nothing attractive about a man with low standards, low trousers and low IQ.

Teach your daughters that having confidence and intelligence is the ultimate SWAGGER. There is nothing classy about a woman with low standards, low cleavage and low self esteem.” – Michael Baisden

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During a private secondary school prom night here in Lagos, one of the awards given to their students was Best Body Award. My question is, whose body is it, a body created by her or by her Creator? Is it an achievement that should be lauded? Is it what they go to school to do now? Compete on having the best body? Her mates are bagging academic or leadership awards, she is going home with best body award that will never have any relevance whatsoever to her Curriculum Vitae. As if she worked hard for God to bestow the best body on her. Hard work in achieving academic should be rewarded….. Not vanity. The height of vanity indeed!

Is it possible that some parents are victims themselves or is it that they don’t know any better?….

Being a Parent involves sacrifice. A sacrifice that entails being there for them, making out time to teach, educate and inform them about what is right and what is wrong. Let them know the harder right than the easier wrong, for this is a path to sanctity. There is no short cut.

Let our children be children.

Let us train our children in the way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.

This is Chinelo Ujubuonu saying Ozuzuamaka – Good upbringing is Golden.


Scripture and Our Children The ABC’s of Raising Saints

Scripture and Our Children The ABC’s of Raising Saints

Stimulated by Scripture, striving for holiness will seem very natural, especially when our children see our example of applying Scripture to our own daily lives.

Parents, you are called to help your children become saints! Lying dormant within your family could be another John Paul II, a Therese of Lisieux, a Thomas More, an Elizabeth Ann Seton. From your vantage point it may not look promising, but remember, the Curé of Ars had difficulty in school and every saints mother went through the frustration of potty training. At all times, the spiritual formation of our children must be our highest priority.

Teaching our children Scripture is an indispensable tool in raising saints. Without a working knowledge of Scripture, our children cannot be adequately grounded in the Catholic faith. Introduce the Bible to your children when they are young by using a childrens version. As you read these stories aloud, point out that God not only created us, but even when we turned our backs on God, He was there to protect and guide us along the path of holiness.

Besides reading Bible stories, help Scripture come alive through your natural interaction with your children. When our children are but toddlers we can begin their Scripture training with the story of creation. After reading the story, take them for a walk, perhaps at a park, in the woods, or along the coast. Point out the majesty of Gods handiwork in each of these places. Point out sunsets, the moon, the stars. Dont forget the different shades of green in nature, the different shapes and colors of flowers, their wonderful fragrances.

When grocery shopping, point out the different foods God created. Take them to a zoo and show them the various types of animals God created. Then show them a baby and let them see how perfectly God created it. Finally, show them Gods love in creating them. Point out their various senses and how each works. We often take our eyes, ears, fingers, hands, and legs for granted until we become incapacitated by an accident or illness. Help your children appreciate the genius of God in all of His creation.

Point out that on the seventh day God rested. Emphasize how important it is to keep the Lords day holy by going to Mass and refraining from unnecessary work. For older children, show through Scripture passages how strictly the Jews observed the Sabbath. What can we learn from them? How can our family give Sundays to God?

Develop the habit of praising and thanking God in front of your children. We often take things for granted. If the day goes well, we forget that it is a gift from God. When something nice happens to us, we may have the attitude that we deserved it rather than seeing Gods love at work. Pick out some psalms of praise and thanksgiving. Explain how King David prayed to God. When hardships knock at your familys door, pick up the psalms again and select those to pray that seek Gods protection or aid.

Little ones are fascinated by angels. Using Bible stories, show how the angels protect Gods friends and help them when they are in trouble. Teach your child to pray to his or her guardian angel. Point out occasions to your child when his guardian angel helped him.

The story of Adam and Eve gives us the opportunity to teach the doctrine of original sin and its effects. Use the stories of Noah and Sodom and Gomorrah to teach how God protects the obedient but destroys hardened sinners. The story of Moses and the Ten Commandments gives us an opportunity to teach our children about actual sin, mortal and venial. As our children grow older we can show how the New Testament completes the Old Testament. In the Old we have the Ten Commandments. In the New, Christ gives us the Sacrament of Reconciliation that absolves us from our sins. In Matthews Gospel Jesus tells Peter:

You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven (Mt. 16:18-19).

This passage not only explains the institution of the Sacrament of Confession, but it also describes Gods appointment of Peter as the first pope.

If we explain to our children when they are young that the Ten Commandments are not meant to destroy their freedom but to protect it, they probably will not rebel against the Commandments in their teens. Teach your children that since the fall of Adam and Eve, our world has become a dangerous minefield. These mines not only destroy our souls but can also destroy our bodies. That is why God gave us the Ten Commandments. They protect us from destruction and help us to live in joyful freedom as sons and daughters of God.

As our children reach the age to receive Holy Communion, its vital to read with them the New Testament passages that refer to the Eucharist. Begin with John 6:48-57. Here Jesus contrasts the manna given to the Israelites in the desert to the new Manna, His own body and blood. Jesus tells the shocked crowd: Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you (Jn. 6:54).

If we want to be saints, we must be nourished continually by Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. This nourishment is more important than the school lunch! As necessary as this sacrament is for our spiritual health, it is critical that we explain clearly to our children that they must be in the state of grace to receive Jesus. If their soul is soiled with any mortal sin, they must first go to Confession to receive the Lords forgiveness. As St. Paul warns:

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord . . . for any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself (1 Cor. 11:27-29).

The Mass readings during Advent connect the Old and New Testaments in regard to the promise and birth of Jesus, our Redeemer. Discuss these passages in connection with lighting the advent wreath each evening.

Preteens can understand the books of Wisdom and Sirach if you go through them slowly. Use the teen years to explore the prophets and the Book of Revelation. Interesting discussions can ensue when these are studied along with the daily newspaper.

Another approach for older children is to encourage them to read a passage from the New Testament each day and then discuss with them how they can apply it to their prayer, school, and family lives. Families can also read the Bible together and discuss it over dinner.

Stimulated by Scripture, striving for holiness will seem very natural, especially when our children see our example of applying Scripture to our own daily lives.


7 guiding principles of parenthood

It was one of those CRAZY days at our house. Every parent knows the kind of day I’m talking about. It seemed like chaos from the morning dramaof trying to get the children out the door before the school bus drove off all the way up to a noise-filled bedtime with a screaming toddler and two naked, unbathed gradeschool boys jumping on their beds. By the time the house was quiet (for the first time all day), my wife and I both looked like we needed to be treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!

I think we’ve all had days like that (especially if you have a house with young kids), but even on those hard days, I try to remind myself that those kids are a huge blessing from God, and I have to find the strength to remember the most important parts of parenthood. The seven guiding principles below have been a tremendous help in my own family (especially on the hard days) and I believe they could help your family too!

1. Children need your Presence, not your Presents

The greatest gift you can give your children is your time. They can do with less of almost anything if it means having more of you. Make time together a priority and try to be fully engaged (phones off, etc.) in those moments. I especially try to focus on bedtime, because it’s the time of day where there seem to be the fewest distractions (once the kids are actually in bed) and it creates the best opportunity for communication.

2. Rules without relationships lead to rebellion

I stole this one from Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family. I’ve found it’s so true. Rules only make sense to kids within the context of relationships which refers back to principle number one: Kids need your presence.

3. My children will follow my example more than my words

I want my children to obey just “because I said so!” But, I have to accept the reality that my short-term influence and long-term impact in their lives will be tied to my example much more than my words. I’ve got to live the values I’m trying to get them to learn.

image image4. A strong family is built on a strong marriage

I watch so many couples put their marriage on hold while they’re raising their kids only to wind up with an empty nest and an empty marriage! One of the greatest gifts you can give you children is the security that comes from seeing their mom and dad in a loving, committed relationship with each other.

5. I need to be my children biggest encourager; not their biggest critic

There are definitely times where I need to correct and discipline my children and it’s an uncomfortable necessity, but overall, I want the tone in the home to be encouraging and life-giving. Children’s young minds and hearts and like wet cement and the words a parent speaks will leave lasting impressions. I want my impressions to be as encouraging as possible.

6. If I don’t teach my children, someone else will

There are plenty of people, TV shows and entertainers that will teach my kids about life if I’m not the one doing it. Sometimes it’s hard to compete with all the voices in culture, but the secret is simpler than you might think.

7. Share as much faith, food and fun as you can!

Make faith the foundation for all you do. Eat as many meals together as you can and create as many opportunities for fun as possible! Laughter should be the soundtrack of your family. Give yourself some grace on those days when you feel like you’ve blown it. Even on the hard days, remember that you’re making a huge impact!

This article was originally published on Patheos. It has been republished here with permission.

Culled from FamilyShare
By Dave Willis

My dreams!

A mother, a friend, old as she is

Still swims in dark waters

Unsure of her steps, yet walks tall

Wrinkled beyond recognition

Abused by her children

Uncertain about tomorrow

Many have abandoned her

Many look up to her

For hope, for courage but see nothing

Believing one day she will get to her destination.

Will she? Someone asked

I searched her face to see if she heard

She looked up, smiled, a smile of affirmation

A smile certain that she will

I felt proud that this mother, this friend will, She will

She knows her children who still have faith in her

She does really know.

I look at her once more

She looks at me, she smiles, wrinkles varnishing

She beams hope

She exudes love

Her only worry is that her children have lost faith in her

She asked me, have you also lost faith in me?

I shook my head, I said no

She smiles

She asked again do you know me?

My answer? You are my Mother

A mother with kaleidoscopic Babes

I love you

I believe in you

She smiles

I whisper to her

I know together with you

We will get to our land flowing with milk and honey

A land that rewards hard work and promotes

The dignity of human labour and person

She smiles

A land that knows no creed or tribe

A land that sees the PERSON not the tribe or creed

A land where YOU will be taken care of, not abused

A land with respectful children, a brother’s keeper

She smiles.

A land full of hope, full of Charity

A land with good people, good Nation

A land I love!

She weeps. She ask, do they know this?

Yes they do, I answered

All we need is a little love and patriotism.

This land what is it called.

It is you Mother

You are the land

You are NIGERIA!

She smiles

God bless Nigeria!IMG_20151001_071739

Happy Independence Day!

By Chinelo Ujubuoñu